Have you ever wanted something very badly, worked very hard for it, and then, just before crossing the finish line, felt a sickening pang of terror in the bottom of your belly as if you don’t really want to cross the finish line? I’ve been reading a lot lately, mostly about dreams, and achieving them. It’s been said that if your dreams don’t terrify you, they aren’t big enough. I am not going to lie – I am literally terrified about the release of Masquerade. I mean, what if people hate it? What if someone judges me because of what I wrote? I was very excited for it, and now that it’s hear, I’m literally sick in my stomach thinking about it.
It’s almost as if I want to say, “okay, I achieved it”. I got the book to the printer. Good enough for me.
On one hand, I want people to buy it, read it, and be impacted forever (in a good way). On the other hand, I don’t want people to know I did it – which is one reason why I have a pen name.
In my heart of hearts, I know that to be obedient to God is far more important than being afraid; and I truly believe that this work is an act of obedience in telling a part of a story that is bigger than myself. Yet if I am honest with all of you, I am a nervous wreck.
So I’m going to ask you all to pray for me as I cross this finish line – my ask is that God will give me the courage I need to take the giant step with grace. I pray, also, that people really understand the message in the book – that there is Hope in Christ Jesus, even for our silliest fears.
To Him all the Glory,
Blessings to you,